Maine Pediatrician Offers Advice for Parents to Help Kids Cope with Tuesday's Terrorist Attacks

Dr. Jan Wnek says to maintain daily routine, reassure children they are safe

A Maine pediatrician has offered a number of tips for parents to help children cope with Tuesday's terrorist attacks, including how to talk to children of all ages about the tragedy and to reassure them they are safe.

Dr. Jan Wnek, medical director and pediatrician at Martin's Point Health Care, says the key is to maintain your daily routine and to discuss the incident in proper perspective. She offers a variety of age-specific tips:

For parents of small children, pre-schoolers and kindergarteners, Wnek says to answer only questions that have been asked, and to try not to have the television or radio news on in the room where the child is.

If and when a young child does ask about the crisis, she advises to speak in very simple, reassuring terms, saying something like 'Some very bad people who live far away from us have done something bad, but we are safe. '

"The key is to protect the little ones from it as much as possible, and when that is not possible then to explain it in simple terms," said Wnek. "Young children can't assimilate all the information that we can, and they can easily become fearful, so it's best not to open that door. Projecting a calm demeanor is reassuring to them and we need to assure them they are safe if they express concerns. Basically, I'd try to keep them from it as much as possible. The less exposure to it the better."

For school-age children, she says the goal is the same, to maintain normal routines, but to assume that children of this age are aware of what is going on. "It is also important to be open to discussing the events to put the crisis into proper perspective. If necessary, parents should prompt children with 'What do you know about what is going on? What do you think about this?' to see how much they know and also to allow them to express their feelings

"For grade school children, you want to also assure them that they are in a safe place, that most places in the U.S. are still safe, that the bulk of the crisis is over (hopefully) and that basically your family's personal safety is intact. The more the adults can maintain their cool and the norm, the better. So to the extent you can do that, try to act as you do normally and maintain your daily routine," she said.

For teenagers in middle or high school, she says you need to discuss and explain current events, but also stress that safety is the primary goal of our government and those in a position of power.

"Same theme, only now you're in the situation where you need to explain that we have people in positions of authority who are in control -- the CIA, the president, the police, the military, and that the incidents Tuesday morning will not debilitate the country. You want to go to the big picture at this point, to explain that we have the right people in the right roles doing the right thing so they feel safe, too," she said.

"It may also be helpful to direct teens to activities that they can participate in which would help the victims of such disasters such as blood drives, or volunteering for the Red Cross, or one of the national disaster relief agencies, can be very therapeutic to children as well as adults to alleviate the feeling of powerlessness that comes in times of overwhelming disaster," she added.

Dr. Wnek says she would advise parents of older children they may want to watch some news coverage with them, but not too much so as not to make them feel uneasy. "Being sure to prompt them to express their own feelings is just as important for teens as it is for younger children, but the depth of their thinking is more challenging to address with," she added.

Martin's Point Health Care is based in Portland, Maine and also has clinics in Brunswick, Windham and in Portsmouth, NH. Dr. Wnek is a resident of Brunswick.

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